Funny, Life

65 Top Funny Quotes on Life by Popular Personalities

Amazingly Funny Quotes about Life

As everyone is familiar that Laughing is good for health, while we all do enjoy as well as have fun as omen one cracks a joke or does something foolish or idiotic. But here are few funny thoughts/ quotes on life.

Funny Quotes about Life

  1. “Behold the turtle. He makes progress only when he sticks his neck out.” – James B. Conant
  2. “I think you can destroy your now by worrying about tomorrow.” – Janis Joplin
  3. “I’ve met a lot of hard-boiled eggs in my life, but you – you’re 20 minutes.” – Jan Sterling
  4. “Age is a high price to pay for maturity.” – Tom Stoppard
  5. “The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age.” – Lucille Ball
  6. “Successful people are the ones who think up things for the rest of the world to keep busy at.” – Don Marquis
  7. “The happiest moments of my life have been the few which I have passed at home in the bosom of my family.” – Thomas Jefferson
  8. “Laughter is a tranquilizer with no side effects.” – Arnold H. Glasow
  9. “Make allowances for your friends’ imperfections as readily as you do for your own.” – H. Jackson Brown
  10. “To become truly great, one has to stand with people, not above them.” – Charles De Montesquieu
  11. “Do not listen to those who weep and complain, for their disease is contagious.” – Og Mandino
  12. “Nothing is good or bad, but thinking makes it so.” – William Shakespeare
  13. “A mother is the best friend God ever gave.” – Christian Nestell Bovee
  14. “Don’t carry a grudge. While you’re carrying the other guy’s out dancing.” – Buddy Hackett
  15. “Don’t go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first.” – Mark Twain
  16. “Time, indeed, is a sacred gift, and each day is a little life.” – John Lubbock
  17. “Wisdom is the reward you get for a lifetime of listening when you’d have preferred to talk.” – Doug Larson
  18. “If I’d known I was gonna live this long, I’d have taken better care of myself.” – Eubie Blake
  19. “If you had to define stress, it would not be far off if you said it was the process of living.” – Stanley J. Sarnoff
  20. “In matters of style, swim with the current; in matters of principle, stand like a rock.” – Thomas Jefferson
  21. “He has a heart of gold – only harder.” – Adolphe Menjou
  22. “Readers are plentiful; thinkers are rare.” – Harriet Martineau
  23. “The best measure of a man’s honesty isn’t his income tax return. It’s the zero adjust on his bathroom scale.” – Arthur C. Clarke
  24. “Humor is most powerful thing that uses laughter as it base to chase your blues away.” – K. Kapoor
  25. “Patience is something you admire in the driver behind you, but not in one ahead.” – Bill Mcglashen
  26. “If you want children to keep their feet on the ground, put some responsibility on their shoulders.” – Abigail Van Buren
  27. “Forgiveness is a funny thing. It warms the heart and cools the sting.” – William Arthur Ward
  28. “Start by doing what’s necessary, then what’s possible, and suddenly you are doing the impossible.” – St. Francis of Assisi
  29. “There never was a child so lovely but his mother was glad to get him asleep.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson
  30. “What matters is not the size of the dog in the fight, but the size of the fight of the dog.” – Coach Bear Bryant
  31. “I find television very educational. Every time someone turns it on, I go in the other room and read a book.” – Groucho Marx
  32. “Given a choice of weapons with you sir, I should choose grammar.” – Halliwell Hobbes
  33. “Don’t judge each day by the harvest you reap, but by the seed that you plant.” – Robert Louis Stevenson
  34. “Too often we visit the well of divine abundance with a teacup instead of a bucket.” – Elinor MacDonald
  35. “You’ll be richer in the end than a prince, if you’re a friend.” – Edgar A. Guest
  36. “Do not handicap your children by making their lives easy.” – Robert A. Heinlein
  37. “So, if you feel a smile begin, don’t leave it undetected, let’s start an epidemic quick, and get the world infected!” – Russel H. Conwell
  38. “Never think you have reached success for when you do then you start the slide down.” – Catherine Pulsifer
  39. “Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.” – Mark Twain
  40. “Success seems to be largely a matter of hanging on after others have let go.” – William Feather
  41. “A man is not paid for having a head and hands, but for using them.” – Elbert Hubbard
  42. “Problems are opportunities in work clothes.” – Henry Kaiser
  43. “If you don’t understand how a woman could both love her sister dearly and want to wring her neck at the same time, then you were probably an only child.” – Linda Sunshine
  44. “Humor is a great way to lighten any atmosphere, and laughing is a surefire way to brighten your outlook.” – J Fischer
  45. “Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down.” – Oprah Winfrey
  46. “The test of a real comedian is whether you laugh at him before he opens his mouth.” – George Jean Nathan
  47. “We must hang together, or surely we shall hang separately.” – Benjamin Franklin
  48. “It is a funny thing about life you get back what you put into it.” – Catherine Pulsifer
  49. “We can see a thousand miracles around us every day. What is more supernatural than an egg yolk turning into a chicken?” – Rutherford Platt
  50. “There is no experience better for the heart than reaching down and lifting people up.” – John Andrew Holmer
  51. “It’s a funny old life . . . man’s lucky if he gets out of it alive.” – W. C. Fields
  52. “You can’t stay in your corner of the forest waiting for others to come to you. You have to go to them sometimes.” – Winnie the Pooh
  53. “Remember the old adage; you can lead a horse to water, but a pencil must be lead.” – Stan Laurel
  54. “If you go to bed at night and think about your day and you haven’t laughed very much, then you must jump out of bed and go do something fun.” – Marlo Morgan
  55. “It’s not the men in my life that counts – it’s the life in my men.” – Mae West
  56. “A city is a large community where people are lonesome together.” – Herbert Prochnow
  57. “Laughter has no foreign accent.” – Paul Lowney
  58. “I don’t have a lifestyle. I have a life.” – Jane Fonda
  59. “We didn’t lose the game, we just ran out of time.” – Vince Lombardi
  60. “A happy family is but an earlier heaven.” – John Bowring
  61. “The only man who is really free is the one who can turn down an invitation to dinner without giving an excuse.” – Jules Renard
  62. “It ain’t nothing to find no starting place in the world. You just start from where you find yourself.” – August Wilson
  63. “I’d like to be rich enough so I could throw soap away after the letters are worn off.” – Andy Rooney
  64. “The difficult thing about children is that they come with no instructions. You pretty well have to assemble them on your own.” – James Dobson
  65. “The longer they wait, the better they like it.” – Marlene Dietrich

We hope that you must have had fun reading these amazing funny quotes on life, if you have more of such quotes other than the above mentioned quotes do share the same in the comments section… 😀